Simplicity in speech

I have been reading a really good book this week. It's called Abundant Simplicity. It had a really interesting section about simplicity in speech. This is a discipline of simplicity I had never thought about. It focuses on saying only what is necessary, to speak only when you can say something good, and how much time we spend talking about, well, useless things. This was a real eye opener for me since I tend to talk, and I tend to talk alot!

This past week I have been putting this into practice. Here are some of the things I have learned:

Do not interrupt people, be a good listener. In the last few months I have noticed that I do interrupt people quite a bit. I just couldn't wait to voice my opinion about what was being talked about, what is worse, I could not seem to stop myself. So, in this last week, I stopped doing that. I learned that when you are a good listener it tells people I care about what they say and what they think.You also tend to learn more when you don't interrupt people. I also learned this type of behavior is self indulgent. Something I am going to change with the New Year.

When i went to speak I asked myself, is this a positive comment? Will it uplift the listener? Is this comment about myself? I was surprised to find out most of what I said was not a positive comment and it probably would not uplift the listener, and usually it was about a personal opinion I had. So, I decided to not say anything at all. Again, it was self indulgence which is prideful. Something I need to change.

It surprised me how much physical and mental energy I use talking. I would actually sit there and notice I was trying to think of something to say to fill quiet times. I don't know why quiet times are uncomfortable to me. I guess I unconsciously felt if it was quiet that space needed to be filled with talking, or with something. At first it was really distracting, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. After a few days I noticed I began to treasure the quiet time. I could sit back and reflect on the day, or, I could just enjoy doing what I was doing at the moment. I have worked so hard to simplify my life to do one job at a time and do it well. It never dawned on me to simplify my speech, I have found a new love in simplifying my speech.

I stopped giving helpful hints around the house. It amazed me how many times I wanted to give a helpful hint on a project my husband was doing. I realized most of what he does I don't have the skill to do, or the desire to learn - but, before this week, I was always there to gently guide him. I learned not only does he not need my guidance, but he probably welcomed the reprieve he got from my constant "You should" or "maybe this will help you". He did fine without my help.

The most surprising thing that happened was I felt a sense of peace within me. I learned that my speech can turn into my thoughts, and my thoughts can turn into my speech. I learned I can teach people through my actions, I don't need to verbally tell people what I am doing. They can see it. I have always thought that if you do Good Works people will learn from that. You don't need to tell them, you just need to show them.

I still have a long way to go on this. From now on before I speak, I will ask myself. Am I being a good listener? Is what I am about to say uplifting and positive? If the answer is no, I think I will just enjoy the quiet time and no doubt, the listener will too.